Nothing will get me to flip in to arbitrary mode quicker then when someone (especially of the opposite sex) attempts to put me in some category in their mind without really getting to know me. I know this my sound a bit weird but I think there is so much more to a person then what you may get out of them from your standard get to know you questions. So I will run you through a scenario in this post and you can call me whatever you want but I don't think you will call me boring or think I am your average or normal conversationalist by the end.
So I remember this time I was at wine bar and this gal started asking me questions, like, "What do you do?" Now I know this is a standard question that most people ask, and I would say that about 20% really care or are interested in what your actually do, and the rest are just trying to figure out what they can get from you or if you can help them with something they are interested in doing. NOW I ask people this all the time everyday, but the difference is I am trying to understand how to relate to them, and explain things in a manner they might better understand. OK so back to the 80% of people that ask this question. So we will call this gal Becka, and she whats to know, What I Do.....
So my response was, "Well I Snowboard, Wakeboard, Kite Board, Surf, Mt. Bike, Dirt Bike, Race Cars, Skydive, Base Jump, and I love walks on the beach and sunsets or sunrises. What about you? Now Becka's response was, "NO I Meant What DO YOU DO? Now here is where it gets fun, I just stare at her with a "Are You Stupid" look on my face and say nothing........... Total awkward Silence! For at least 30 seconds to a minute.
Then you have to look like you had an epiphany, roll your eyes, and loudly say, "OOOOHHH you mean what do I do for monetary compensation?" Now understand that for the most part some people might not know what "monetary compensation" is and you might just have to roll your eyes again and say "money." Now here is a little trick, if this person is really into you they won't care and they will be more interested in what you do for fun then what you do for monetary compensation, so if they persist just ask them what they do for fun since you already told them what you do for fun. This is also another trick, because they could be the most boring person on the planet and not worth the next vibrations from your voice box if they can't answer the question. It's sad but over 80% of our current society globally has no purpose driving their daily actions, and I would say that ratio is greater in the US because most are consumed by pop culture and their jobs.
Having Fun Yet? Well you have to understand that this type of conversation is going to go bad 80% of the time, but just understand that your sorting for someone that might have other interest then how stable you income is and if you have a retirement plan, or if they will be able to brag to their friends or parents about your title (MD or Dr or PHD or Esq.). Sometimes you just need to sit back and think to yourself, "What is this person Really asking me?"
So what happened with Becka, well as soon as she could not put me in an income category she flipped out. All I could do is think to myself is, I am sure glad I was able to find out what she values in her friendships, by taking a conversation in a direction not anticipated or expected by the other party and watching them deal with the unexpected, and the feeling of not being in control. Better to find it out now then later. Another way to do this is to push someone out of a plane for the first time, but I will cover that in another post.
In a quick closing note, try this with anyone, see how it goes, leave a comment or share it with a friend, and most of all just have fun with it and stop having the same boring conversations with people because they will keep giving you the same boring relationships.